False Gossip

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Posts tagged with "actress"

May 4

bil muray picked up our wittle doggie from daycare this afternoon. i now rite? he dropped him off and handed me a note that said: no one will believe you.

May 4

Ya right, Gwneth Palrow!  I no your fancy but shouldn’t need a dicktionry to read a cocobook — what are lardons??!?  And duck backon?!?!  Ducks don’t have bacon!

May 4

Keffer Suterland sat next to me at LAX!  He was read the screanply to Men At Work 2.  Summer 2015 is gonna be grat!

May 3

so, shean been wuz in store 2day bying tacos. he kept whispring to evryone that winter was coming. i was like, you dide in the first seasun! he jes laffed when i sed no free refills on soda. he was waring a sord.

May 3

mom jes calld sed she saw orpa at browdway near rite aid. she sed nice things abt my moms hair and they went to a movie together. orpa tryd to hold her hand in the dark and maid my mom pay for the move and popcorn and a lrg dite coke!!!! sorry not watching own anymoar.

May 3

chirstan bail made my day! he bout all 11 of my pupies. it was wierd tho bc then he told me to get out of the game? i sed yes bet man and he jes ran away realy fast! 

May 3

John Cubsack ate all of my burito.  He said he was trying to ‘bulk up bc he has been munderstood as an emo banker.  idk.

May 2

asstin cutchar thu piza in my cars windo. i yelt after him but he jes leant on a tree and was crying. i was like you ok man? and after crying a bit mor he says ya im just mean to myself sometimes and then he huged me. he had a shirt on that said worlds best dad.

May 2

kanew askd to take my sk8bord out for a trick and then he snapped it. he said i was lucky and signed it. some dude on ebay ofred me 5 bucks.

May 2

we woke up and nic cage was in our kitchen screaming where is the bourbon i need something to flambay these eggs. he made us a lovely breakfast and said it was for research. before we could ask him what we had to do with it, he was scrambling up our chimney yelling summer 2014, summer 2014.

May 1

my grandmama said she used to date nick naoltea. he bought her alot of jade that turned out to be fake. she said she cursed him and thats why he acts all strange. i just said, wishful thinking grandmama.

May 1

mathrew pary was in my cofee shop with a live armadilo he sed her name was shelley and she wanted an iced mocha. he kept looking right at me and pating the armadilo. i dint now what to do so i got her an iced mocha that made my manager mad. mathrew pary told my manager he dint know the armadilo but he did!

May 1

uncle just saw cortney cocks crossing b street but she was waring sunglases and a hat. he whisled and she sed he loked hot or whatever. he sed good think he washed his hair. if only she new how crepy uncle is.

May 1

mathew brodrick like from faris bs day off was just chasd by bees thru central park.

my mom sed she saw bil pullmen punch a cab drivr.